The War on Error

I was at a barbecue the other day and I got into an argument with Colin Powell. Nothing physical, of course (he’s twice my age – and size), just an exchange of words between two men of the world doing their respective jobs. It was a pretty heated exchange of words, I have to admit, about a certain aspect of Hogan’s Heroes, the 1960s TV sitcom. Our point of contention, specifically, was the first name of the bumbling, monocled camp commandant of Stalag 13, Colonel Klink.
‘Sources have determined that the first name of the individual under discussion at the present moment is Andrew,’ Mr Powell said, reading from a hastily prepared statement.
Andrew Klink? Come off it! I don’t care if he is the Secretary of State and former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Colin Powell can’t just go around making up things like that. It’s ridiculous. His name, as everybody knows, was Wilhelm Klink – not Andrew, or Rufus or Sarah or Adolf.
‘Have these sources of yours ever actually watched Hogan’s Heroes, Sir?’ I asked, pouring on the incredulity like a condiment. ‘Because it sounds to me like they haven’t. Or that they’re confusing the show with something else – The Courtship of Eddie’s Father, maybe. Where’s your information coming from?’
In between consuming most of a hamburger and a whole bottle of Tooheys Blue, Powell told me that he ‘was not at liberty to reveal’ his sources, then mentioned something about violence not being the way to solve this dispute and that continuing down the path of violence would get us nowhere except more funerals and that we should aim toward a peaceful resolution. Which, although seemingly irrelevant and sometimes difficult to comprehend because of all the chewing, I couldn’t help but agree with.

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