Idiots / A Partial List

The following passage – wisely excised several drafts ago – from my unpublishable novel The (Something) Burlesque will, for those who are interested (and I doubt there are many of you), give a pretty good idea of people who especially irritated me in the early months of 2003, when this passage was written. Obviously if I was compiling a list of idiots and assholes in the middle of 2006 some more names (like Dan Brown and Sydney Morning Herald book reviewer Bruce Elder) would have to be added, while others which appear below might well be removed (for example, Tom Cruise because I am, not without good reason, frightened of him).

I readjusted my face and head, and told Barney that actually, among other things, the book I had in mind would be about hatred, envy, failure, rejection, resentment, hostility, anger, bitterness, ennui, fear, angst, uncertainty, mortality (the horror of), anxiety, depression, misery and the redemptive power of love.

“All that and the redemptive power of love?” my almost-former agent asked.

“Well, more all that other stuff than the love redemption. I think the killing’s more…”

“Right. So like I said, it’s about a guy who shoots celebrities. Brilliant. It stinks.”

“Well, he doesn’t only shoot them; there are a various methods of executions. And not just of celebrities. Regular people get it as well.”

“I don’t even want to say this, but here it is. Regular people like who?”

“I dunno… critics, maybe.”

“How did I know you were going to say that.”

“Well…”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

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